Evelyn’s dog Zeus is trying to tame the alpha bitch!
Rebecca and I were recently invited to be part of AOL’s fun video series “You’ve Got…” Check out our video below that debuted this week!
We just wanted to share this sweet note we received today from one of our TYAB readers…
Hi Christy and Rebecca,
The book arrived at the perfect time as I just have been blessed with a new relationship and it allowed me to become aware of my alpha bitch traits so I can replace them with the new ones. Honestly I can say I am happier, my loved ones are happier and my new relationship is the best I have ever had after 45 years on this magnificent planet.
A big thank- you to you both for sharing your creative gift and allowing myself with your support to live the life I truly deserve!
Much light and love,
Thanks so much, Maria! We’re thrilled the book had such a powerful effect for you.
Bachelor fans – - Learn about the obvious signs that Courtney Robertson slipped on last night’s ‘Tell All’ episode about her love for Ben. Read our post on Hollywoodlife.com for all the details.
We weigh in on the “spell” Courtney Robertson has over Ben Flajnik on The Bachelor. Many want to know why he kept her around with her Alpha Bitch like attitude. Read on at HollywoodLife.com to find out what we and other experts have to say on the topic.
Women Only Over Fifty recognizes when we push too hard we end up assuming the Alpha Bitch mentality, which takes away from our power as women, rather than enhancing it. And WOOF recognized our book too. Read our WOOF blog post here:
We joined international dating/relationship expert and TV personality Lucia on her LA Talk Radio show Sunday 2/19 for an up-close interview. Listen to the questions she had for us and how we answered them on the spot.
We appreciate Dominique’s review of Taming Your Alpha Bitch and glad she enjoyed the book! Read her review at Dominique’s Desk now.
Read our guest post on PinkVelvetKisses.com where we discuss how the Competitive Alpha can go into overdrive in the fashion industry is she’s not careful.
Taming Your Alpha Bitch debuts on USA TODAY’s Best-Selling Books list this week and we are thrilled to be here.
We joined special guest Jordan Sparks and Hoda Kotb on the Today Show to discuss how women can tame the forceful, controlling, competitive and disruptive nature inside of them yet still achieve their goals.
Watch the video of our guest segment:
Franchise Solutions for Women helps you find the right franchise business to own and take control of your career and life. Through a unique mix of business buying information, real stories about successful women franchise owners, and helpful resources and tools, you can start searching for the right business opportunity for you.
We were lucky enough to have an article of ours about the book and what it takes to be fierce and feminine in your career (and life) on the Franchise Solutions website this week. Check out the article by clicking here:
New post this week on the Beauty Undercover blog. Check it out here:
Check out this new guest post we had recently on the Grand Life Daily blog about winning a battle, but losing the war…
Check out our guest post on CollegeCandy.com this week! We talk about the best way to deal with your drama queen friends.
Our book was recently reviewed by the blog “For Those About to Shop: Fashion with Purpose.”
Check out our guest post earlier this week on the Career Women Coaching blog.
Click here to hear Ryan Harris interview Christy on his Prosperity Radio show yesterday.
Check out this guest post we had today on the Grand Life Daily blog about DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!
The Holidays are here and we all know what that means — crowded trips to the shopping malls, endless to do lists, and extra planning for family gatherings. Ughh! Sometimes just thinking about the upcoming season makes us long for mid January when the flurry of activity is behind us!
With so much going on in our lives already, it’s hard to look forward to all of the festivities with the mountains of added stress that accompanies them. It’s no wonder that so many of us find ourselves feeling a bit edgier at this hectic time of year (and dare we say, acting a bit “bitchier!”)
That’s right… the holidays can really bring out the Alpha Bitch in the best of us! We may find ourselves snatching the last “Rockin Elmo” out of an unsuspecting child’s hands, or carelessly barreling through the grocery store aisles frantically looking for a work party appetizer!!! Yep, when our inner Alpha Bitch is out in full swing watch out … she can scare the jolly right out of Santa, and make him think twice about leaving the North Pole!
So what can we do? With so much pressure on our shoulders, how can we avoid unleashing the wrath of the Alpha Bitch this holiday season?
This year, we can make the choice to let go of the forceful, driven, get-r-done method of surviving the holidays (which let’s face it is down right draining and not at all rewarding), and instead step into the ease and grace of our true feminine power.
Shifting into our feminine power means letting go of the belief that only through extreme effort can we get what we want. The truth is that it’s really our energy not our effort that creates our reality. Through a calm, open, and loving energy field we are so much more efficient and effective in attracting all that we want.
By aligning with the magical qualities of the empowered feminine —balance, harmony, abundance, and wellbeing — our lives becomes so much sweeter and infinitely more fulfilling. (And here’s the kicker—we still get every done, we just do it in the grace and flow of our true feminine natures.)
So during the holidays, relax and let go of the insane need to “make things happen”. Instead just allow life to unfold as it will. If you can’t find “Rockin Elmo” then trust that any gift given with love will be appreciated (and really, are your co-workers that invested in the cheese tray or the spinach dip?)
This season don’t let your inner Alpha Bitch run the show and hijack your joy. Put her on notice, and let your Empowered Feminine self bask in the blessings and wonders of the holidays!
Go check it out now and become a fan! Just click the logo below.
We may take great pride in how cool and collected we are when things are running according to plan, but how calm do we remain when life tosses us a curve ball? What happens to us when we plan for one thing and then find ourselves headed in a totally different direction? For most of us this brings up a flurry of anxiety – our inner control freak goes into overdrive trying to regain a sense of power. Our emotions become heightened with worry, doubt, and fear. And we find ourselves becoming tense and rigid. Our behavior can quickly turn into anything but pleasant– we may find ourselves barking orders like a drill sergeant, or snarling at those we love.
Unfortunately life is filled with moments of uncertainty and out of the blue occurrences. The question is how gracefully do we handle the unexpected? When life doesn’t go as planned, we have one of two choices– we can either resist it or we can go with the flow.
A few days ago, we were scheduled to do a media appearance in San Diego on Fox 5 News. We both arrived prepared to do two segments on two specific subjects. One was, ‘Is it okay for mothers to have a favorite child” and the other was “Do realities shows create competition among friends.” As we were being mic’d (literally minutes before going on the air), the producer informed us that we would doing only one appearance and it would be on “Women and competition in the workplace.” What???? Curve ball!
We both made an instant decision to just let go and roll with it. It turned out to be a great segment, and we thoroughly enjoyed our time together. Not what we were expecting at all, but fun and exciting none the less.
We often put so much pressure on ourselves as women, and expect to constantly perform perfectly. It’s easy to fall out of alignment with allowing and accepting and get caught up in controlling. The problem is that when we resist life, we block the flow of abundance and we miss out on new and exciting opportunities.
Our goal as women is to be both strong and flexible. Just like a tree that is well rooted in the earth but can bend with the wind, we can be both powerful and yielding. That is what it means to be fierce and feminine. We stand in our power, but we go with the flow and embrace the many moments of uncertainty and the unexpected changes that inevitably happen in our lives.
What an amazing call Tuesday night…
If you were on it, you know what we’re talking about. And if you
missed it, you’ll definitely want to listen to the recording of it here.
On the call, we shared a lot of the secrets from our new book
coming out in January called, “Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to Be Fierce
and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want).
It’s packed full of great content and “golden nuggets” and we highly
encourage you to take some time out of your day today to listen
You’ll be glad you did.
Imagine and Enjoy,
Christy and Rebecca
We were invited to appear on the Fox 5 Morning News in San Diego this week to talk about the book and how to be “Fierce and Feminine” in the workplace. Check it out…
Like most women, you’ve probably felt the distinct sting of a fellow female who is so threatened by your success that she can’t help but try to bring you down. You know …just when you land that juicy promotion, or you finally drop a few dress sizes, or you meet the man of your dreams; your friend begins avoiding you, or she starts making snarky comments behind your back. Ugggh! Instead of cheering wildly for your success, she acts put off, even annoyed, by your accomplishments. She changes the subject when you try to share the juicy details of an incredible opportunity you’ve come across, or she rolls her eyes when you express your exhilaration over a hard-earned achievement. In the middle of your exciting story, she reminds you of her latest accomplishments—stealing away your moment and making it all about her.
What’s up with that? Why is it that the more we shine, the more we experience disapproval from the women closest to us? Shouldn’t our friends want us to prosper? Don’t they want to us to achieve everything we desire and more? Why do our victories signal their failures?
There’s a dirty little secret most women share but few want to admit…female competitiveness. Competition among women happens all the time and the affects of it are so harmful. It brings out the worst in us all– our friends, our sisters, our coworkers, and yes… even ourselves!
Nothing is as hurtful as being rejected by our closest gal pal for no other reason than we’re succeeding. And let’s be honest, nothing is as painful as the bitterness of jealousy felt towards another women. You know what we’re talking about. How many times have we found ourselves seething in resentment because our good friend is pulling ahead of us? Or how many times have we felt like we’re drowning in self condemnation because we just didn’t think we could keep up with our coworker.
You see, many smart, successful women have a strong competitive inner drive, and although we tend to think of it as an asset, really it’s more of a liability. Sure, measuring ourselves against our girlfriends is natural and may prompt us to excel. But when our “Competitive Alpha Bitch” compels us to be better than her in all ways (as if our happiness depends on being better than others) then what may seem like a motivating factor quickly becomes a huge hindrance.
Sometimes being number one is so ingrained in us that all we register is the intense need to one-up others. That drive to be the best at everything we do and everything we are can often override common sense and social graces. We’ve probably all felt the inner twinges of jealousy when a friend shares her good fortune. Sure, we feel awful for going there, but we just can’t help wanting to knock her down a few pegs. We might remind her (and everyone else at the dinner party) about that embarrassing time when she found herself dancing on the tabletop after a few too many cocktails. We might just “forget” to invite her to girl’s night out, and then talk about her all night long. Jealousy is a powerful emotion that makes us act out of character.
So, what can you do when you catch yourself overcome with the competitive bug? Try using your friend’s success as inspiration to create new and better opportunities for yourself. By letting her success inspire you, your own dreams will be fulfilled that much faster. So celebrate her victories. If a close girlfriend just lost twenty pounds, bought a great house, earned a nice promotion, or found the love of her life, go wild for her.
And what to do when your friends turn on you for shining brightly? Use it as validation that what you are achieving is praise worthy. You must be doing something right to be getting all that attention!
There must be something in the water, because more and more women these days are approaching their careers and even their love lives with a forceful, aggressive, “take charge” attitude. We somehow believe that if we want love, we have to aggressively pursue it. If we want a thriving career, we have to bulldoze our way through the competition to create it. In essence, if we’re going to get anywhere in this world, we have to learn how to throw our weight around like a guy, because let’s face it, soft and feminine might get us more dates, but it won’t get the big office on the top floor! It seems that the only two options available to us are the pit bull that gets what she wants, or the poodle that’s cute and cuddly but lacks the chops to be effective in the world.
So are “pushy” or “push over” the only two choices we have? Absolutely not! We don’t have to settle for being successful by becoming hard and surly, or risk becoming submissive if we want to be sweet and soft. We now have expanded options—we can choose to be both fierce and feminine!
Making this shift begins with the realization that we don’t have to shut down the more feminine parts of ourselves in order to succeed. We can certainly call upon our masculine strength when necessary, while remaining true to our feminine nature. By learning to integrate both masculine and feminine aspects of ourselves, we harness their collective creative power, and advance so much farther and faster in life, with less stress and less struggle.
As we learn to accomplish our goals, not by wielding aggressive masculine force, but by drawing upon our authentic feminine power; our experience of life changes radically. We remain every bit as focused, determined, and successful as our hyper-aggressive, Alpha Bitch counterparts, but we’re more relaxed, open, and at ease. We now radiate a calm, empowered presence that draws others in, and calls forth their support.
Yes, we still command authority, but just not through our aggressive, controlling, or intimidating actions, but through the sheer power of our magnetism. When we embody feminine power—a combination of both masculine and feminine energies– life becomes seamless and fluid; and we find ourselves experiencing more joy, more confidence, and yes, more success than ever before.
How can you awaken your true feminine power so that your visions, ideas, and dreams effortlessly become your reality? In Taming your Alpha Bitch, How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want!), we show you the five keys that place you in perfect alignment with your femininity– gracefully unlocking doors to abundance that are impossible to open by force or masculine measures. We point out the ways that “alpha bitch” tendencies may be showing up in your life, in ways you may not suspect. Only by identifying these mindsets and habits, and then releasing them, can you reclaim your true feminine power. To pre order the book, go to http://tamingyouralphabitch.com/blog/book/.
Check out our recent appearance earlier this week on The D-Spot with Kelly Sullivan Walden
In this fast paced, hectic world, most women struggle to keep up with the endless list of “to do’s”. With so much on our plates, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and overwrought. Oh, if only there were more hours in the day, or better yet, a duplicate of ourselves who could get the kids to school, drop off the dry cleaning, and pick up the groceries after work.
Well, we have heard that time and space are collapsing… but until that happens, or until science can effectively clone us, we need to find a better way to get it all done without losing ourselves in the process.
In fact, there is a better way… We can learn to use our energy not just our effort, to create the things we want. What do we mean by this? Well, there’s the physical world that we’re all familiar with, and then there’s the non physical world. Most people put all of their attention on the physical world– they focus their time and energy on actions. And while “doing” is an important aspect of getting what we want, there is an equally important component to creating, and that is mastering the nonphysical, or energetic world.
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “don’t work harder, work smarter.” Well using our energy in combination with our efforts is the smartest, most efficient way to get us where we want to go, in record time. Counting on just our actions alone to get things done is like running on only half our cylinders. We’re going it alone, when all the support we could ever want is available to us.
When we learn how to align our energy with the ever powerful universal energy, life gets infinitely easier and things get accomplished, faster. This is not as strange as it may sound, and the truth is that we all do this from time to time. We’ve all experienced those moments when life felt effortless, smooth, and fluid–solutions to problems came to us easily, opportunities appeared out of nowhere, or we somehow found ourselves at the right place at the right time. Some call it being “in the zone” or being “in the flow”.
What’s happening is that, in these moments, we’re connected to a greater force or intelligence, and we’re allowing it to support us and guide us. We’re not relying solely on our own individual efforts to get us through. We’re using both the power of our personal creative energy and we’re aligning with the greater creative energy. So how can we tap into this universal energy more often?
Quantum physics tells us that every hour of inner/energy work that we do is equivalent to seven hours of outer/physical work. By doing even a few minutes of quieting the mind we gain more benefits than our outer efforts alone could ever bring us. Inner work provides the clarity we need to know what paths to follow, which opportunities to take, and which methods to use to get us to our goals fast and efficiently.
Rather than hitting the ground running each day, a much better approach is to get centered, calm, and aligned. From there we know what inspired actions to take. When we heed our inner guidance, everything we need to do is accomplished in less time, with less stress!
Many people believe that success is determined by the amount of education and experience one accumulates. But is there more to success than just diplomas and hard work? Multi-billionaire Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple and Pixar Animation, seemed to have done just fine in his career without having graduated from college. What do we make of his incredible success? Here’s a quote from a commencement speech he gave to Stanford students in 2005, “Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” Hmmm. Follow your heart and intuition. Why would one of the most innovative men today say this, and what did he mean?
In essence, Steve was saying don’t forget the feminine. You see, the heart and the intuition are synonymous with feminine energy. He was a beautiful example of someone who used both intellect and intuition in his life—masculine and feminine energies. It’s clear that he drew upon the masculine qualities of intellect and action, but he also tapped into the feminine quality of intuition, and evidently, it certainly served him well!
What do we mean by intuition? Intuition is the quiet voice in the back of our minds, or the gut feeling that shows us which direction to move in, what ideas to follow, or what prospects to leave behind. It’s a subtle urge (which often defies logic and reason) that guides us to the right places and the perfect opportunities. It’s that inner nudge that guided Steve to leave college after only a few short semesters and take a calligraphy course—a class that he later called upon when designing programs for the MAC computer (which Windows then modeled for their programs.) Just think about where he’d have been in his life if he’d disregarded the voice of intuition? And, more importantly, think about where the tech world would be if he had followed reason and pursued the college path charted for him?
Unfortunately, many women today have shut down the more feminine parts of themselves– like intuition– thinking that the masculine qualities of action and intellect alone will lead them to greater success. We agree that the masculine element is an important component in manifesting what we want, but the feminine is equally, if not more, important. By learning to integrate both masculine and feminine aspects, we harness their collective creative power, and advance so much farther and faster.
If we truly want to excel personally and professionally, we must reclaim our femininity and connect with our intuitive guidance. Staying true to this inner voice will take us so much farther in life, with less stress, less struggle, and definitely less effort. We see, through someone like Steve Jobs, that the sky’s the limit when we’re connected to a greater intelligence through our feminine intuition.
To Steve’s family and friends, we offer our condolences for your loss.
Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go your way? You know what we’re talking about, right? Everything feels like a struggle and anything that can go wrong, does. At work, you lose the word document you’ve spent weeks working on—yep, the one you swear you saved, but now somehow vanished. At home, you get into an argument with your husband over something silly, the kids won’t stop acting up, the washing machine breaks down in the middle of the rinse cycle, the dog throws up on your new couch, and just when you think it can’t get worse — you drop your cell phone in the toilet! Arghhh! It seems that the harder you try, the worst things get. You end up feeling so frustrated and disillusioned that you just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head. We’ve all been there more often than we’d like to remember. Why, oh why, does life seem so difficult at times?
Well, there’s a good reason why we experience these kinds of days. When life becomes nothing but heartache and disappointment, we’re out of alignment with the universal flow of ease and abundance. We’re aligned, instead, with the lower vibrations of struggle and hardship. Now, none of us consciously choose to drop into lower vibrations, but these energies are all around us, and it’s easier than you may think to get caught up in them. For instance, have you ever felt drained or depressed after spending the day with your “Debbie Downer” friend? Or, ever felt scared or hopeless after listening to a relative who won’t stop talking about the bleak state of the economy? Without realizing it, we often match the energy of the people and places around us. We unknowingly step down our personal vibration in order to relate to them on their level. We may even take on their fears and sorrows to heal them, or relieve them of their burdens.
We can also get out of alignment with the higher universal vibrations when the thoughts we’re thinking are negative or less than self-loving. Our energy takes a nose dive– spiraling us into fear and scarcity or shame-based emotions. And when our energy tanks, so does our abundance. Our personal vibration is what determines the quality of experiences we attract to ourselves on a moment to moment basis. The higher our vibe, the more in alignment we are with the higher, finer frequencies of universal energy (and the better, and easier, our lives become.)
So how do you shift into the flow of universal energy? First, remember that your outer reality is a reflection of your inner frequency or vibe. If you’re experiencing difficulties, struggles, or hardships, these are clear signals that you’re out of alignment with well-being and abundance. Simply release any negative energies you’ve picked up, by replacing them with high, vibrant energies of love, joy, abundance, and peace. Likewise, replace any lower, fear-based thoughts of lack or scarcity by replacing them with more life affirming ones like: The universe is always working with me and for me. In this moment, I am safe and protected. Abundance is always flowing to me and through me.
Once you release any and all lower energies, you’ll be back in the flow of wellbeing and abundance, and everything in your outer reality will begin to shift. That misplaced word doc will suddenly appear, your husband will call to say he’s sorry for being so uncaring, the repair guy will let you know that the washing machine is up and running, and let’s face it, you needed a brand new cell phone anyway! Aligning with the high frequencies of universal energy ensures that life becomes effortless and even magical—and in this flow, all truly is well!
Since most women were raised in cultures where powerful and successful men far outnumbered powerful and successful women, we naturally adopted a more masculine approach to reaching our life goals. Makes sense, right? If we wanted to enjoy the same degree of power and success that men did, we had to seize it, just like a man. So, many of us said “so long” to the passive, submissive role of “helpless fairy tale heroine” and donned a cutthroat, hyper-ambitious, and competitive one instead. We forged ahead with a “you go girl” war cry, determined to take by force everything we wanted and deserved. And to be fair, this masculine approach to success has served us well. In the span of just a few generations we’ve advanced to the forefront of almost every industry. We’ve broken through glass ceilings, leveled the playing field, and proven that we definitely have what it takes to make it in a man’s world. There’s no question that this “macho” stance was a necessary step in our evolution as women, but are we now ready to move into the next phase of our journey?
You, like many women, may be feeling a growing urgency within, a sense that something greater is yearning to be expressed through you. You may feel at a core deep level that you are ready to have it all — a thriving career, financial abundance, physical vitality, emotional fulfillment, romance, and anything else your heart desires! These inner urgings are being felt by others and they’re prompting us, as women, to take our next steps into total empowerment. Before we do though, it’s important that we acknowledge the Alpha Bitch role, and the significance it has played in our advancement as women. Moving from “damsel in distress” to Alpha Bitch was not a mistake or a setback, but a vital step in our journey. She has served us well, but her reign is coming to an end because she has taken us as far as she can go. We’ve learned all the lessons she was here to teach us–we now know that we are as equal, capable, and entitled to lead lives of influence and greatness as any man. And, we definitely know how to bare our teeth when necessary, and how to go after the things we want without reservation. We know how to fend for ourselves, how to fight for our rights, and how to claw our way to the top. Thanks to our inner Alpha Bitch, we now know how to survive. Now it’s time for us to learn how to thrive—how to enjoy the power and success we’ve worked so hard to attain, while reaping maximum fulfillment in our lives.
Yes sisters, we’ve reached the limits of how far our heavy-handed tactics can take us, and we’re now ready to conquer new and exciting realms of possibilities. We’re ready to take everything our inner Alpha Bitch has taught us and with utmost gratitude and appreciation for all that we’ve accomplished, move into the next phase of our evolution and expansion. It’s time for us to reclaim our true Feminine Power!
Even though you may act the part of an Alpha Bitch from time to time, let’s be perfectly clear—you are not one! You see, being bitchy is not who you really are, it’s just a role you may play when feeling overwhelmed, threatened or criticized. Your inner forceful alpha will most likely bare her teeth if you feel too much has been put on our plate, or someone is disrespecting or attacking you. Your controlling alpha will start barking orders if you feel that things are falling apart or others aren’t doing their part. Your competitive alpha’s claws will come out if you think something’s being taken from you, or someone’s getting your share of the goods. And who could forget your disruptive alpha? Her attention seeking ways will surely claim the spot light if you feel overlooked or ignored. You see, we all have an inner alpha bitch that makes her appearance when we feel vulnerable or afraid. And before long this part of us is taking over– overshadowing our loving, kind, and gentle qualities.
In our blog and book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch, we point out the many ways that your inner alpha may be showing up in your life (in ways you may not even suspected.) It is so important to identify these mindsets and habits because only by recognizing the inner workings of the Alpha Bitch can you release them and reclaim your true empowered feminine self.
Here’s what you need to know… You are so much more than your bitchy behaviors. You are more than your fears and vulnerabilities, your pushy demeanor or your snarky comments. You are more than your hard-edged attitude or your sometimes too abrasive tone. It’s true! Beneath all these alpha behaviors lies an incredible, amazing, and all-powerful woman. There is an exquisitely feminine Goddess within you!
We agree, sometimes it’s just hard to find her, or even remember that she exists, because she can easily get lost in the antics of the alpha bitch mindset. And because of these antics, we can incur so much shame and judgments from others that we end up feeling inadequate and somehow unworthy. We can get so used to charging through life with guns blazing, we forget that deep within us is an infinitely radiant, wise and all-knowing being! So just for this moment, look within and see if you get a glimpse of that magnificent woman. She’s really so incredible and she’s ready to be revealed.
By simply recognizing and releasing the attitude and behaviors of the Alpha Bitch, you can then reclaim this empowered feminine self. This essential connection is what aligns you with your passion, power and prosperity. So let your inner Goddess shine through!
In the animal kingdom, the “alpha” is the most dominant member of the pack, the one that outranks all the rest and will fight to the death for the right to retain her top spot. And, of course, we’re all familiar with the derogatory implications of a “bitch”—her behavior is characterized as aggressive, spiteful, disruptive, or malicious. The Alpha Bitch, like her canine counterpart, can be power driven and strives for dominance. She pursues her goals with an aggressive, overbearing “take no prisoners” approach; and she uses whatever it takes—including forceful, controlling, competitive, and disruptive behaviors—to prove her importance and protect her hard-earned status. Many of us have crossed paths with an Alpha Bitch from time to time (or been one.) Are you wondering if you might have a little “inner bitch” in you? Breathe easy, you’re among friends!
When we’re operating in Alpha Bitch mode, we actually believe that the only way we can get our needs met is by dominating and controlling the people and circumstances in our lives. We feel we have to push hard, exert extreme effort, and steam roll over anyone who happens to get in our way. Think of a time when you found yourself barking orders at your spouse, or wielding just a bit of force to get him to do what you wanted. You got it, your inner alpha was calling the shots. When she’s around you feel the need to control just about everything, generating an almost perpetual feeling of anxiety. “If you want something done right you’ll have to do it yourself, and if you don’t hold everything together it will surely fall apart.” We’re convinced that the kids won’t eat, the bills won’t get paid, and the earth just won’t rotate properly on its axis unless we are the ones directing it. With your Alpha Bitch around you just may catch yourself micro-managing your co-workers or taking over their responsibilities because you just can’t trust them to get the job done right without your guidance.
Because our inner alpha is so power-driven she has a tendency to be oh so competitive, and maybe even a little cut throat, too! This results in a “me against the world” mentality that leads to feelings of isolation and disconnection. If you’re like the rest of us you’ve probably felt the adrenaline rush of one-upping a friend, or maybe even caught yourself gloating over a better yoga pose. Be honest, we’ve all been there! And our Alpha Bitch is not just aggressive, controlling, and competitive. She also suffers from a near-constant need for attention. When she’s out, we can be overly emotional, self absorbed, and let’s face it a little dramatic. Sometimes it seems that we’re just not satisfied unless all eyes are on us and we are the topic of conversation. Have you ever been called high maintenance by a friend or a boyfriend? If so, you were probably acting from your inner Alpha Bitch.
These are just some of the ways our Alpha Bitch shows up, and when she’s around you can bet that your personal power and peace of mind will be compromised. Stay tuned for more tips on identifying and “Taming your Alpha Bitch.”
In our new book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!) due out January 31, 2012, we’ll show you why unleashing your “inner bitch” is actually pushing away the love and success you’re trying to create. You see what most women don’t get is that approaching life in a forceful, controlling, competitive, and disruptive manner ultimately works against them, by introducing conflict, struggle, and confusion to their personal and professional relationships. Ladies, it turns out that the aggressive, hard-edged, bitchy demeanor that many of us thought would place us on the fast-track to success is really preventing us from attaining the “beyond our wildest dreams” success we deserve. So, how do we get everything we want without being tough or outspoken? The easy way of course! We’ll show you the essential keys for achieving success and abundance without all of the headaches or heartache.
In our coaching and counseling practices, we work with many high achieving women determined to claim their well-deserved share of power and success. However in their quest for a more prominent spot at the boardroom table, some of these go getters have cast aside their true feminine natures and taken up a more aggressive, hard-hitting, masculine stance. In other words, they’ve fallen into the trap of being what we call an “Alpha Bitch”.
Now don’t be too quick to dismiss the alpha bitch as behavior other gals do. Although most savvy women stop short of over-the-top, made for reality television antics; it’s probably safe to say you, like many of us, are quite capable of, and competent at, pulling the “bitch card” at a moments notice. And while there are certainly times when it’s appropriate, and even necessary to channel our inner she-wolf; we say with absolute certainty that it’s counterproductive to charge through life with teeth perpetually bared.
Our upcoming book will be filled with tips for identifying the four common types of “alpha bitch” behaviors most strong, success-oriented women fall into (you might be surprised to see yourself in some). But don’t worry, we also offer powerful and effective strategies for shifting into a more authentically empowered place, where you truly can ‘have it all” without losing yourself in the process.
Stay tuned for more juicy blog articles on “taming your alpha bitch.”